The North End Has Lost The Noise

While the team is on the rebound, the Timbers Army continues to trend downward.

Giovanni Savarese loves when the Timbers play at home. Before every home game, he mentions how much the crowd influences the play on the field. However, for a growing number of people who sit in the North End, the quality of the Timbers Army has seemed to fall off. There are still plenty who believe that the Army is fine, but there are definitely some issues that need to be talked about. As DJ Durel said at the beginning of the Migos song “Cross the Country,” a deeper dive into the modern TA has been a long time coming. 

Let’s begin with the basics to set a baseline for the Army. Sections 101-108 and 201-208 make up the North End. Those sections are special because they are standing only and seating is general admission. Normally, people who want to get specific seats will line up early on matchdays to get a wristband. Those who have wristbands can join a special line that gets to enter the stadium early. You don’t need to have a wristband to sit in the Army, but you need to have a GA ticket in order to legally sit there (let’s ignore my MLS Cup stunt for a minute because I am now a rule follower). There are capos who stand at the bottom of each section that lead the chants, but the head capos are located on the platform in front of section 107. Those capos regularly communicate with the drummers and trumpets (DnT for short) to set the rhythms for each chant that the Army will do throughout the game. There are two specifically timed chants. At the 80th minute, the Army raises their scarves to sing You Are My Sunshine, a tribute to Timber Jim’s daughter. When the 85th minute rolls around, Wise Men Say, which is two stanzas of Elvis Presley’s song “Can’t Help Falling In Love.” Outside of those chants, there is a chant sheet that anyone can grab at the top of each section in the 100s. Here’s what that chant sheet looks like.

Now that I’ve gotten the basics out of the way, it’s time to dig into this chant sheet. You might notice that there are no player chants on here. I will be addressing that later. Odds are, if you’ve been to a Timbers game, you’ve heard all of these at some point. But this tiny piece of paper is a pretty big sore point for those who are upset with the Army. A lot of these chants get stale. They’ll last for too long without any changes and some of them aren’t very good at all. I’m going to single out my least favorite chant for a deeper dive on this topic.

This is an abomination. It’s awful. It is vomit-inducing. Oddly enough, based on what I’ve heard around the league, it’s still above league-average in terms of chants. But the Army should hold itself to a much higher standard and do away with this waste of airtime. Let’s get into the reasons why this chant is so unbelievably bad. The words are meh. It doesn’t inspire anything or anyone. “We’re The Timbers Army” (WHICH IS SOMEHOW NOT ON THIS CHANT SHEET) is a much better way of communicating the same message (middle fingers to the away section also helps its case). But the biggest sin of this chant is the tune. “You Are My Sunshine” already has such a special place in the Timbers Army. Goals scored in the 80th minute are known as sunshine goals. Why recycle the same tune for a song that’s a million times weaker. Every time I hear this chant, I never join in. Why would anyone in their right mind join in with this nonsense? We’re not NPCs, but we’re expected to sing along with a NPC song. Throw this song into the dumpster and set it on fire. 

There are still a lot of good songs here. Green and Gold, Take Over The World, Keep It Up, Party In Portland, North End Noise, Bury Me In Timbers Green, and I Wanna Be Rose City are all bangers. Onward Rose City, which isn’t even on here, is also a solid tune. But sometimes when these songs start, they tend to linger way too long. I would only categorize two of these songs as true fastballs. North End Noise and Keep It Up always get the crowd going. But why have two fastballs when a third exists? You all know what I’m talking about.

Portland boys we are here - Wo ho Wo ho

Portland boys we are here - Wo ho Wo ho

Portland boys we are here

Shag your women and drink your beer

Wo ho Wo ho ho

Burn, destroy, wreck and kill - Wo ho Wo ho

Burn, destroy, wreck and kill - Wo ho Wo ho

Burn, destroy, wreck and kill

Portland Timbers bloody will

Wo ho Wo ho ho

Use your head and use your feet - Wo ho Wo ho

Use you head and use your feet - Wo ho Wo ho

Use your head and use your feet

10 (insert color of opposing team) bandits at my feet

Wo ho Wo ho ho

We are green and we are white - Wo ho Wo ho

We are green and we are white - Wo ho Wo ho

We are green and we are white

We are bloody dynamite!

Wo ho Wo ho ho

What a beautiful song. Multiple verses, a great tune, and one that encourages the perfect amount of violence. Of course, there is so much controversy surrounding this chant. And it only has to do with one line. “Shag your women and drink your beer.” For the record, I understand why this line is problematic (as should every normal human on the planet). However, this chant was taken to the woodshed because 107ist didn’t believe in the human ability to learn a few new words. There are plenty of ways you could change that line. “Gut your fish and drink your beer” is a fine change. “Eat your babies and drink your beer” fits the level of violence that the chant brings to the table. For those who are unhappy with the current ownership, “I want Merritt to disappear” fits the rhythm as well. Letting one bad apple pollute the whole chant is ridiculous. But 107ist has made it clear that this chant will never see the light of day ever again. What a tragedy.

For those that complain about the chants, 107ist as a whole has a perfectly on-brand response: “Why don’t you make your own?” The problem with that is the fans don’t control the chants. The capos and DnT do. If you have a chant that you want to bring to the Army, you have to take time out of your day to teach them the chant so they can practice it and then perform it. If you try to start a chant in the middle of the game, you will be met with dirty looks and you will just get drowned out. They say anyone who wants to be a member of the TA is already part of it, but that’s just a silly little sentence at this point. People get yelled at by capos on a regular basis and this atmosphere of togetherness that the TA wants to portray just seems like a PR move. Not every capo or DnT member is bad (if you are a capo or DnT member reading this, you know whether or not you are) but they’re all just spokes on the big wheel of the TA. I do not want to fix this wheel. I want to break this wheel.

All of the criticisms I’ve heard about the TA are accurate. Between the scripted chants (not Sunshine or Wise Men, those are exceptions), the unwillingness to add new ones, and the overall attitude of the people in charge of the matchday experience, there’s a lot of rot in the TA. How many members of that matchday squad (capos and DnT) believe that their version of the TA is superior and can’t see how stale the Army has become? The superiority complex that the TA higher-ups have is completely unwarranted. We are all there to support the Timbers, but the higher-ups believe that sticking to the script is more important than supporting the team. No one wants to sit and sing stale chants because that’s not fun. So what can be done to fix it?

Let’s begin with the obvious: the TA is no longer a united front. There’s too much going on during the match to try and keep the same energy the entire time. Obviously, certain chants will have their moments. But there is an unspoken policy throughout those higher-ups: the team always comes first. There are no player chants in that chant sheet. And there’s no room for anything organic to occur because it will get drowned out by the TA. Finding any room to adlib during the listed chants is hard. Last season, I would always scream out “Jo-se Carlos Van Rankin” during the scarf-waving section of Party in Portland. That’s just an adlib, but since it fits with the current song, I’ve never had anyone tell me off about doing it. Rules are fine. There are some things that shouldn’t be said (such as “Fuck Seattle” during any Hail Portland Timbers chant when we are not playing Seattle, seriously, I could hear it from the pressbox yesterday). I think the best way to combat the iron fist of the TA is simply by banding together. There are more of us than them, and if enough people are chanting something it will catch on. That’s how chants normally spread around the world. I have one test case I would like to experiment with. It would only happen in a specific moment, but it should be easy enough for it to catch on. My proposal is a player chant. What is it, you may ask?

“OHHHHHHH EVANDER’S F***ING MAGIC

HE’S GOT A MAGIC HAT

HE COULD’VE STAYED IN EUROPE

BUT HE SAID NO F*** THAT

HE CHOSE TO COME TO PORTLAND

TO SCUSA

AND WHEN WE WIN THE CUP AGAIN

WE’LL SING THIS SONG ALL DAY”

Originality is overrated. Sure, it’s great when you find a new tune and can seamlessly incorporate it with a new chant. But clubs all around the world copy chants, and they do it for a reason: the chant is good. I came up with this song before the season began. I haven’t had an opportunity to introduce it to a wider audience yet but now is the best possible time to do it. A true player chant is something the Army is desperately begging for. Imagine the whole North End singing this after he buried that stunning strike yesterday. Well, it should definitely happen in the future. After the next time Evander scores at home, the traditional Hail Portland Timbers should take a little bit of a rest so a chorus of voices can serenade our Brazilian dynamo. I encourage anyone who is in attendance for his next home goal to start singing this song. People can correct themselves and get in line with the tune. And since it’s a pretty good song (yes I’m patting myself on the back) it should catch on rather quickly. This is not a vanity project on my end. There is a problem and I want to help fix it. This team needs more player chants. If you happen to read this article and have a player chant of your own, please send it to me via a Twitter DM (@SportsGuyJeremy) or via email (jeremypetermancfb@gmail.com) and I will happily aggregate all of them into a new chant sheet. Once I have a healthy amount of them, I’ll make the list public so everyone can access it. I don’t care if you aren’t confident in your chant. I would still love to hear it. Many fans in section 107 already have player chants. I am asking those of you who regularly sit there to share your songs with me. The Timbers Army should never be about gatekeeping, but it has permeated throughout the higher-ups and brings the potential of the North End down with it. The Timbers Army has the potential to be the best supporters’ section in the country, but it’s nowhere near that right now. It’s time to light the fire in the North End again. 

This is purely about the chants and the active in-match atmosphere. I appreciate all the work 107ist does in terms of community outreach, tifos, and creating quality merchandise to support the team. But being the lone supporter group means that you have to keep working to improve. I’m not anti-107ist, but a wake-up call was desperately needed.